Helping vs. Enabling: Does it Even Matter?

 [Originally posted on GoCorps blogs on May 28, 2021]

Over the last several months, we as a staff have been struggling with this question as it pertained to a particular participant in our program. She has been with us for over 5 years, and while we’ve seen remarkable growth in some areas, she is still struggling with others, particularly with following through on commitments. And so we’ve worked with her time and again, offering techniques and tools, freely giving grace and forgiveness when she confesses of a fault. Yet, the question is always there: are we really helping this woman, or are we just enabling her?

This question comes from a good place. We want to be good stewards of the resources God has given to us and not to harm our participants in our question to help them. But as I’ve been processing through this dilemma over the last several weeks, I’m starting to think that we’re asking the wrong question altogether. The question of if we’re helping or enabling is based off of a result. Does her behavior change or not? But in this life, we’re really not in control of the result of just about anything. And God doesn’t expect us to be. What God does expect of us is to be obedient, to walk with him in the process and to leave the results up to him (John 14:23).

So instead, I’m choosing to ask a new question, one that applies to every situation we will face as a team, and to every situation in my own life: God, what are you asking me to do in this scenario? How can I be obedient to your voice? I may eventually take the same action that I would choose when I was asking myself if I was helping or enabling. I may not. Honestly, it ultimately doesn’t matter. Because the point is that it redirects the focus from the result to the process, from earthly expectations to godly ones, and that will always be the right decision.

What to do when you don't know what to do: A social (in)justice issue

Racism, sexism, terrorism, and so many more wrongs.  Our world today is clearly broken.  There is so much pain, so much injustice, so much inequality in our societies.  And yet these issues are not always as black and white as I once believed them to be.  For example, does kneeling during the national anthem at a sporting event mean protesting against racism, or insulting veterans?  What do you do when even veterans are divided about whether kneeling is an insult to the flag or not?  What do you do when you want to support the right causes in a socially conscious way, but you don’t even know what that really means anymore?

Sometimes I feel so overwhelmed by the weight of injustice in this world.  I feel as though I am being crushed underneath it.  I am lost and confused and angry at the hurts of this world.  “It is not fair,” I cry out to Jesus, “What do I do?”  And, as always, He answers me.  I cannot fix this world.  It has been broken by the sins of humanity and a much greater power than I will be the one to make all things new again.  But in dealing with social justice issues, God has clearly said what is expected of me and of you.  So here are three things to do when you don’t know what’s right or wrong anymore:

1.  Act justly – When you are convinced of what the right and wrong things to do are, choose to do the right thing consistently.  Be socially conscious.  Be aware of the consequences of the choices you make and choose to live in a fair and just manner as far as it is possible, even when that means making decisions that may not benefit you. sad
2. Love mercy – Be merciful to yourself and to others.  Social justice issues are complex and they deal with real people’s lives.  It is easy to forget sometimes that the people involved in these issues are not just comments on a webpage, but real people with real lives dealing with the real consequences of these issues.   Mercy can be defined as “compassion shown towards someone whom it is within one’s power to harm” (dictionary.com).  Particularly for those of us who have privilege in this world, it is vital to recognize that we have the power to help or to harm those without privilege.  But God clearly calls us not only to be merciful, but to love mercy.  Embrace it with all of your being.  Choose compassion daily.  God has shown so much mercy to us, and now it is our turn to be merciful to others. superior living justly loving mercy walking humbly
3. Walk humbly with your God – Understand that you are not God and you are not omniscient.  You and I do not know everything and cannot know all the answers.  Give yourself grace in that and humbly ask God for guidance.  As you grow closer to God, your perspectives on certain social justice issues may change.  Humbly accept when you have acted wrongly, and strive to learn from those experiences and to grow in the future.

With these tenants in mind, we are at least able to have a framework to follow when dealing with social injustices.  Don’t get me wrong, there are still many issues I struggle with knowing the right thing to do.  But I always have the option to listen and to love.  I can choose to listen to those involved, even if what they say is not what I want to hear.  And I can choose to love unconditionally.  I can choose compassion.  I can choose not to give up, not to be cynical, to continue fighting and muddling my way through this life the best that I can.  I can continue to follow the words of Micah 6:8* as hard as it may be, because the alternative of being apathetic is unacceptable to me.  I cannot fix the world, but with God’s strength I can be part of making it a better place.  Will you join me?

*Micah 6:8 “He has told you, O man what is good; and what does the Lord require of you but to act justly, love mercy, and walk humbly with your God.”