Healing the Hidden Sickness

I’ve spent the last few days feeling under the weather, and it always amazes me how “just a cold” can make you feel so miserable.  Being sick has a way of forcing you to stop and deal with the cause, or at least the symptoms, of your illness.  And as I sat drinking my tea, resting, and taking medicine, my thoughts turned towards the idea of spiritual sickness.  Unlike physical sickness, which predominates our thoughts and directs our actions when it arises, spiritual sickness manifests itself in much more subtle and pervasive ways.  Spiritual sickness is the bitterness I allow to grow in my heart when I do not forgive.  It is the complaining spirit I nurture when I go to others under the guise of “venting.”  It is the pride and selfishness that I refuse to let go of although I know the damage they cause to myself and to others.

All of these sins poison me slowly, minimizing my ability to be effective for Christ and making me miserable.  But they are so subtle that I often forget I’m sick.  Unlike the symptoms of a physical ailment that demand to be dealt with, these symptoms of a spiritual illness thrive when I underestimate their effect on my life.

Yet I know that the effect these “symptoms” have on my life is devastating.  I hate the bitterness, pride, and selfishness that weigh down my spirit.  So the question becomes: what can I do about it?  How do I become more aware of these signs and what can I do to combat them? 

Thankfully, scripture has the answer.  Acts 8 tells the story of the apostles Peter and John meeting a sorcerer, Simon, who wanted the power of the Holy Spirit for his own personal gain.  In Acts 8:22-23, Peter says, “Repent of your wickedness and pray to the Lord in the hope that he may forgive you for having such a thought in your heart.  For I see that you are full of bitterness and captive to sin.”

It is important to note here that when Peter says, “in the hope that,” he is really saying, “in the expectation that.”  We know from 1 John 1:9 that, “if we confess our sins, he is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and purify us from all unrighteousness.”  But the point is that the way to being healed of the spiritual sickness inside each of us is to recognize it and repent from it, praying that God would heal us.

As hard as I may try, I cannot heal myself of the spiritual illness that continually plagues me.  I cannot will my way into complaining less or being less bitter.  Believe me, I’ve tried.  But I know that God is able to change my heart.  One of the names for God is Jehovah Rapha, the Lord who heals.  He is the only one able to heal me and purify my soul.  When I keep my eyes focused on him, I am a better version of me.  Due to the sneaky nature of sin, I am often blind to its effect on my life.  My vigilance slips and I am unsuccessful at remaining focused on God.  But this bout with a minor physical ailment was a needed reminder of the much greater stakes in the battle for my spiritual health.  This world will always try to distract us from what is truly important, but let us “be on [our] guard; stand firm in the faith; be courageous; be strong” (1 Corinthians 16:13).  I’m praying for all of us; with God’s help, I know we are capable of doing all that and more.